You stood me up Saturday. I felt so all alone. All of my hope and anticipation dwindling away in a
manner of seconds. Each day I realize my feelings more and more for you. I love you. It’s plain and simple. I love you Pedro Fernando with all my heart. The more we try and stay apart, the closer we become. It’s crazy. For once I make no effort, no advancement, no flirting, no nothing and you come to me. To think I am the total recipient of your love and affection. My heart explodes with joy and laughter with just a thought of you. This is a different kind of relationship for me, you see I’ve never been with a Hispanic man before. Straight from Mexico, no green card, little to no English, or nothing.
You stood about 5’8, a gorgeous olive tone complexion, silky coal black hair, and all muscles. Your eyes are dreamy, they remind me of an ice cream Sunday covered in hot caramel. They are aligned with two adorable dimples that sit on each side of his beautiful smile. Yes, I’ve had my share of dates but you, man you are it. It’s weird how it all got started.
A simple glance across the street! Each day a simple wave and a smile you gave. Of course I waved and smiled back. I thought nothing of this because you were just visiting your sister, playing nice to the noisy neighbor. Pedro was not from here. We never shared more than a glance or a wave during that year. Pedro and my now Ex-husband Tony were friends. If you knew Tony, you’d know why they were not the kind of friends who hung out. Pedro often bum rides to work from Tony knowing the house husband would always be at home. They also borrowed cigarettes from each other along with that wacky tabacky. Not much talking was shared between the two, mostly due to Tony’s inability to speak Spanish. Pedro worked long hours and was seldomly seen to the point of him disappearing. No more knocks on the door, waves from across the street or nothing. It was like that for about 2 years or so.
March of 2008 was a trying year. It had been a year since the divorce was finalized. The children were growing and adjusting to the change, and finally my house was in order. I tried to keep everyone to some sort of routine during this transition, but it was hard. Being a family of 6 was definitely a challenge, but being a single mom was life changing, not to mention lonely. Maybe I was meant to be alone? Maybe I don’t deserve love. Who would want me? I’m just better off alone.